It is said that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Pain is something we cannot avoid, whereas suffering is the by-product of the mind. More than often, the people who hurt us the most, are the ones who are closest to us. When we fail to find a way to communicate our feelings and share our life experiences, confusion arises. We feel misunderstood, misjudged and unseen.
If you struggle with forgiving someone who has hurt you, you need to remember that forgiveness starts with the self. It’s common to project our own pain onto others and blame someone else for your misfortune. The more you hold on to your anger, the deeper your inner conflict becomes.
How to forgive someone who has hurt you:
1, Realize the essence of forgiveness. Forgiveness is rooted in self-love and embracing your true self.
2, Respect yourself in such a way that you consciously let go of feelings and thoughts that no longer serve you.
3, Understand that people act the best way they can and sometimes, their best seems not to be enough for you.
4, Understand that if someone has hurt you, he/she did that from a place of darkness and pain. You cannot cause distress to someone if you are in harmony with yourself.
5, Forgiving someone sets you free.
6, You can forgive anyone if you first have forgiven yourself. Even if you might not be aware right now, most of us deal with unintegrated emotions and feelings of low self-worth. These feelings cause us to blame ourselves for the things that seem to go wrong and to blame others for our lack of centeredness.
7, Meditate of forgiveness. You can sit quietly and inquire what has happened to you. In meditation, you will notice that things are exactly how they should and that people who have hurt you, also pushed you out of your comfort zone, in such a way that made you grow and glow.
8, Acknowledge your feelings. Be honest with yourself and you will discover that underneath your apparent lack of forgiveness lies your need to be validated and seen. Give yourself what you need. Do not except the sudden awakening of the person who inflicted pain on you. You are the master of your life, not the master of other’s lives.
9, Trust that every little or big thing that comes in your life is here to support your development. You cannot be destroyed by others if you look into the essence of things.
10, Practice kindness with yourself and you will receive the same amount of loving-understanding from people around you.
11, Raise your vibration and raise above any drama that may surround you. By doing so, you will become a match to like-hearted people.
12, When you can’t forgive, you feel like a victim. Observe this tendency and choose to overcome it.
13, Remind yourself that you were given these experiences because you are strong enough to manage them.
14, Give up the need to be right. Know that there are things that may seem unclear for now, but time will show you why you had to go through them.
15, Don’t give up on yourself. Know that forgiveness is deeply transformative and open yourself towards accepting that sometimes things seem to fall apart only to rearrange themselves beautifully and unexpectedly.
Forgiveness causes you to expand your horizons and embrace what is hidden. We tend to hurt each other without even knowing we did so. By broadening your perspective, you will be able to dissolve the illusion of separation and recognize that deeper meaning of what has happened to you.
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